Love

Why are men so damn distracting? Sigh. I've never before had to deal with seriously liking more than one man at a time. Well, okay, in love with one and REALLY "in like" with another one. It's very strange. I find my brain pairing the two of them up with me, pinning them up against a wall, looking at their faces and watching our scenes play. How each of them is to me, the things they say and do. How they are the same, how they are different. My history with Owl, my present with Pine. I think about what a future with either one of them would be like. I wonder if I will ever have to choose. I don't like thinking about that, so I don't always get too far. I miss Owl so much and I am sad that we didn't have much of a chance (sometimes I think I'd like to try it again). I am excited about this thing with Pine at the same time though. I am really fighting this "one true love" idea that our society perpetuates. I think that we are capable of loving many people, and we do. A lot of people just remain in long-term monogamous relationships. So, I'm trying to chill out and enjoy this present moment with Pine, because there is no reason why I should keep myself from experiencing love with other people. There is so much loving to do! (as cheesy as that sounds...) Just because I love one person does not mean I cannot love another. At this moment in time, I don't think I would be able to fully give my heart to one person. I am okay with that.