Montana-bound

Finally! I'm leaving for beautiful (and cold!) Montana this evening. I'm not exactly looking forward to the bus ride (the whole trip should take around 33 hours) but I am SOO excited to be there again! WOOOT! I am hoping I will update at least occasionally when I'm out there, but I won't make any promises. I don't think I posted at all the whole time I was there this summer ;-) Au revoir!

NYC Trip & Update

Well, I don't have much to report right now. Things are rather unexciting. Since getting back from my adventures out west I've been spending almost all my time at my parents' place, trying to keep myself entertained. Although I did take a trip out to NYC to visit Rabbit and Wolf, and that was quite wonderful! It was very good to see both of them again, it had been too long. Mostly we wandered about town, loafed around at Rabbit's cute little hobbit hole in Brooklyn, hanging out, being silly and eating cheap, delicious delivery (wonderful thing about the city!) We did take a trip out to Coney Island one afternoon, which was quite nice. The weather was beautiful and the beach was not very crowded. We talked about life and dreams and enjoyed being in the sun. Sadly we were not able to get out for a hike like we had wanted, but, maybe another time. Like I was expecting, the city was too crazy for me, interesting, but just too many people and too much concrete. Where Rabbit lives is not too bad. I did enjoy being able to just walk down the street for groceries or whatever. But still not a place I'd like to live. Very interesting though, to see how so many other people live. Overall it was a good trip and I am very glad we all got to hang out again!

It has been good to see my family again. My nephew is growing fast! He is quite adorable and almost makes me like babies ;-) I have been here long enough though and am ready to get on the road again. Thankfully I'll be headed back to Montana next week. I am quite excited! It sounds like folks at the campaign are looking forward to having me back, and that's a warm, fuzzy feeling :-D I think I am almost ready. I splurged and bought myself a fancy new pack so I will be at least more mobile in my future travels, and so I can go backpacking, duh! I've gotten together mostly everything I think I will take, and it didn't even fill the bag! I was almost shocked, I have learned how to pack light! What a novel concept! Although, knowing me I will probably fill it in the end, hehe.

Tomorrow should be interesting. Owl is coming by to pick up some things he left when he moved (oh yeah, did I mention he has moved back to the mainland?) and I'm not sure if I am ready to see him again. I have come to the point where I just don't feel like I want him in my life anymore, but I don't know if I will be able to tell him that. Honestly I have enjoyed not communicating with him, it's not even something I think about. Although now that I am actually going to see him, I know I should stand up for myself and tell him all the things I have been feeling about our relationship and all that happened. But a part of me feels like it's just not worth it. Does he deserve even that? Would it make me feel any different? I just don't know. Sigh. I am so tired of this.

I don't want to end on that note, so here's something exciting! Yesterday I learned a couple of new hooping tricks! WOOT! Just a simple jump through trick, and a behind the back pass. When I'm trying to learn new tricks from videos I always really wish someone was actually there to show me in person. I think I'd probably pick things up a lot quicker that way. Although, mostly what I've learned I've gotten from videos online, so it obviously hasn't been that difficult ;-) It felt good to work on new things again! Huzzah for hooping!

Faun Weekend

This past weekend dear Faun came down for our last chance to see each other before I run away to the wilds of Montana again. We escaped suburbia hell (a.k.a. my hometown) and went to Eureka Springs where we stayed in a cute bed and breakfast, which was cozy and luxurious (mmmjacuzzi). We had a wonderful time! On Saturday we went to Lost Valley State Park (near Ponca, AR) to go hiking and enjoy the autumn woods. It was quite busy when we got there, but we decided to try it out anyway and just ignore the other humans. Not too far down the trail we ended up wandering out into the woods to go exploring away from all the people (the best kind of hiking). What a good decision that was! We scrambled over rocks up a creekbed and found a few really cool little waterfalls and bluffs. We played and explored and giggled and didn't worry about a thing. It was a beautiful day, the forest was lovely and we were having so much fun I didn't want to leave. Eventually we headed back, made our way to our room and took a nap before going out for the night. I think the hike wore us out too much though (or something ;-), as we weren't good for much more than dinner and a few beers. It was enjoyable nonetheless, to observe the nightlife.

On Sunday we slept in and lazed about before going out to wander the town. I tried to enjoy Faun as much as possible, as I knew it was the last day I would see him for several months at least. By the time we made it back to my abode, I didn't want to let go. I had enjoyed getting to spend so much time with just Faun without any distractions. The whole time we've known each other we haven't had the opportunity of spending a lot of time together, at least not in the default world. So, it was wonderful being able to just enjoy being together. It was wonderful to know as I was falling asleep that he was still going to be there in the morning. It was wonderful not having to watch the clock or even think about the clock. Having the luxury of an entire weekend with Faun without having to worry about anything or anyone else made it that much harder to say goodbye. Le sigh. I am very excited to get back to Montana, but now there is one more thing I will miss about Missouri...

Burning Man 2008

WOW. I don't even know what to write. It's hard to know where to start. The experience of having been to Burning Man is hard to describe because it's so unique that there really isn't anything else to compare it to. It really is one of those things that you just have to experience yourself to really know what it's like. To go is to know.

When Pet and I finally became one with the long line to get in the gate on Monday after our cross country trip, it was hard to believe we were actually there. We had been talking about it so much for so long that I had started to lose interest. To be honest, I almost didn't even want to leave Montana to go. Of course part of that was pure and simple laziness speaking, not wanting to bother packing. But, when Pet showed up in Denver to pick me up it started to dawn on me that we were actually going. As we counted down the miles and whole states passed by the excitement started to build. The closer we got the more folks we saw on the road who were obviously heading to the same place (burners are hard to miss). We randomly started chatting with burners at rest stops and gas stations all along the interstate. By Monday morning when we drove through the tiny town of Gerlach, Nevada and saw the hordes of burners stopped for their last chance at supplies the excitement we felt was nearly tangible. We were almost there!!!

Arriving at our final destination: Pandora's Lounge and Fix-it Shoppe (our camp, and home for the week) , I felt elated, relieved, excited, anxious and ready to get out of the car! Of course we rolled in right in time for a big ass dust storm (and I started asking myself why the hell I decided to spend a week in such an inhospitable environment, ha). So instead of setting up our tents, which would have been futile in the wind, we greeted our campmates, pulled out our bikes and headed out to explore the crazy city we now call home. It was like wandering about another planet, all hot, windy and dusty as fuck running into all sorts of people looking like aliens in their goggles and masks/scarves/whathaveyou. But tons of fun! I felt in a daze the whole day, not really knowing if I was seeing things correctly, not really completely believing I was there. Even going straight to the top of the man didn't hit the nail home. I think it finally settled into my brain that I was at Burning Man sometime later that night. Actually, I think I remember the exact moment...we'd gone out into the night with a group of our campmates (all of them still mostly unknown to me at this point) to wander the city and see what we could find. We stopped at Mal-Mart to play with their toys, dance to the awesome 80's music they were spinning and climb to the top of their main structure to get a view of the young city at night. As I stood there and watched the loong line of headlights stretching from the gate to the highway, my brain said to me, "Holy shit! You're at Burning Man! And you've got all week!"

In Black Rock City, there is definitely never a lack of interesting things to see and do, at any time of day or night. All one has to do is start wandering. This was essentially my week. Mostly I spent my days wandering about with no destination in mind, stopping at random whenever something caught my interest (this happened often) and admiring the glories of 50,000 people coming together to create a temporary city based on the ten principles (all while getting a hawt tan I may add). My time spent at camp was split between getting to know my campmates, trying my hardest to nap (impossible) and people watching. Our camp was placed on a high traffic street quite close to Center Camp so we never had a lack of visitors or excitement (not to mention all the folks who stopped by our bike shop).

Most nights I would get a good start at our camp's bar (oh the Pandorans are a bad influence ;-) before heading out with other adventurous souls to see what the night had to offer. After being out in the sun all day long, going out every night was probably bad policy for me (being one to actually need sleep) but the city at night was hard to resist. I was like a moth to a flame. But who can blame me when the night has so much to offer? Heart-pounding bass to follow when wild dancing is desired, dancing til you must collapse, numorous theme camps with soft, cushy surfaces on which to collapse, toys to play with, art to admire, bars to visit, fire to watch, hoops to play with!, stars to be wowed by, the unknown possibilities awaiting you, unidentifiable big glowy things off in the distance, unidentifiable big and small glowy things everywhere, and undeniably desirable above all else: the all important, life-giving and life-sustaining blinkie lights of the open playa at night. Oh night in Black Rock City is fun indeed!! Anytime I ventured out I felt like I was being pulled in twenty different directions because I wanted to see and do all (quite impossible in a city that size ;-)

Although what I remember most fondly is hanging out with good friends old and new, wandering all about the city, being silly and having fun without a care in the world. I was nervous at first since we were camping with a group of people I didn't know very well, but it didn't take me too long to warm up. I ended up being quite happy that we camped with them. Over the week I made a lot of new friends, and at least one very good friend, and for that in itself I am exceedingly happy I went. Wonderful Faun is already near and dear to my heart, despite me having only known him a couple of months. Mayhaps that is the magic of Burning Man at work ;-)

I decided to not go into a whole lot of detail regarding exactly what I did at Burning Man, as I've already done that in my personal journal and it would feel too much like overkill to me. But overall I had an amazing time and I am so so so glad I made the choice waaay back in January to go, even though I had only the vaguest idea what I was getting into. It was immensely fun and I'm already thinking of going again next year. Sigh. I think maybe that I've become a burner ;-)

Montana!

Wow, long time no blog. I had nearly forgotten about one of my old favorite time wasters, which was probably for the best. I told a new friend (nickname yet to be discovered) about this silly little thing and that made me curious to come back to it. So, here I am. Much has happened since last I wrote, much indeed.

Interfuse was awesome of course and I had a lot of fun dressing up in silly costumes and dancing around a big fire.

My adventure to Montana extended from May to August, even though I had originally planned to stay a month. I fell in love with the place rather quickly though and I found it hard to leave, even for Burning Man. It was a very delectable summer: basking in the mountain sunshine, watching the wildflowers take turns blooming and fading, cooking and baking delicious food to my heart's content, hiking about through the forest, lounging and making love in a tee pee, picking morels and huckleberries, swimming in deliciously cold mountain lakes and building relationships with people I can now happily call family. There was a little bit of work in there too, tabling in Yellowstone and the Tetons to talk to folks about what's happening with the bison. Not quite as fun as other activities, but it was a good thing to do and I learned a lot. So all in all, it was an amazing experience and I am very happy I went. I'm planning on returning in November to spend a whole season with the campaign. It will be a challenge and I am very much looking forward to it.

After a quick visit with Fig and Bear in Denver, I met up with Pet for our crazy Burning Man adventure. That pretty much needs its own entry, although to be honest I have no idea when I'll blog again, but this library computer informs me I have little time left before it'll kick me off. So, another day perhaps...

And my summer begins

I'm always a little surprised to realize that I don't like my hometown all that much whenever I come back for a visit. I've forgotten how much it sucks.

So I've been here all weekend visiting my parents (and grandparents on Saturday) and helping Fig and Bear move. I'm bummed that they're moving (to CO) but I know it'll be a better place for them. And it gives me yet another reason to get out there again!

I'm homeless for the summer, but not really. I have places to visit and couches to sleep on. I brought almost all my stuff back here and have kept just the things I'll need this summer, and for Interfuse and Burning Man. It's all very exciting, and only feels a little weird. This summer has been in the planning for quite some time, especially my buffalo excursion, so it's great that it's finally happening!

Pine and I will be headed to Interfuse on Wednesday! WOOT!

Domesticity and Fun in St. Louis

This is me being the Domestic Goddess. The tough, fiercely independent Domestic Goddess, who sometimes likes to make sugar cookies. Delightfully awesome and tasty sugar cookies.

So, as I am sure is obvious by the photograph, I had a good time in St. Louis this past week. The sugar cookie making madness was enjoyed by both Pine and I. He was not afraid to step in and get his hands covered in flour. It was quite cute. I learned that Pine likes to bake, so score yet another point for Pine and his awesome-ness (first the fire-eating, now the baking! whew). It took us at least a couple of hours since I made the whole recipe, so there will be no shortage of sugar cookies at either of our houses anytime soon (that is unless my roommate who is even more of a whore for baked goods than I am gets a hold of them). We even mixed up several colors of frosting and laboriously iced each cookie. That doesn't mean they look very good...I mean really, there is not much finesse involved in icing cookies with a butter knife. However, they are quite colorful and very tasty, and that is all that really matters. It had been a while since I was so domestic. My other domestic activities of the week included making yummy vegan enchiladas, leek soup, late-night pancakes (great munchie food btw), a couple breakfasts and cleaning Pine's kitchen. I know how bachelor men's houses tend to be, and I need a clean kitchen to work in, so, voila! Clean kitchen.

I also spent a lot of time hooping this past week. Pine and I watched a few basic hooping videos, and while Pine was out one evening I finally got the hang of the one hand beam me up, although I have only perfected one rotation at a time. It made me feel good to learn a trick so quickly. Pine was impressed I think ;-) I can definitely feel where the hoop has been rolling around my hips, I even have a bruise already. Ha.

Remember the Shoes video that everyone loved so much a year or so ago? I remembered that I was very impressed with the fire hoopers towards the end, so I looked it up and watched it again with Pine. The fire hooping is pretty hot I have to say. One day, that'll be me.

Pine and I didn't go out much, except for Friday night. We met up with our cool friend Pet, who we have both been wanting to hang out with. I'm going to go off on a tangent here and tell the story of how I met Pet....
Last May, on a lark, (which seems like eons ago now) I went to a Beltane festival at Ozark Avalon with Owl, who is already very familiar with the land and folks who spend time there, unlike me. One of the first people we ran across after we had arrived and set up camp was a tall, tan man wearing nothing but sunglasses and a lacy sarong draped around his hips with a bikini clad woman in tow. I was only slightly taken aback by such a character, as Owl had informed me I would see oddly dressed folks and strange situations at this event. So, I was introduced to Pet. To be honest with you I wasn't very interested at first. I was actually quite guarded for most of the time I was there. I didn't speak with him much at all really and didn't think about him again until a couple of months later when I got a random phone call from an unknown number. The man said he was looking for Owl (who at one point was giving out my number as a way to get a hold of him) and we got to talking. It turns out he was the scantily clad man I had met months earlier at OA. He remembered me as the pretty woman Owl had brought along. It was a nice conversation, albeit a little odd considering the circumstances. He stopped by my work one morning a few days later when he was in town and I almost didn't recognize him because he had so many clothes on! He encouraged me to call him later on since we seemed to get on so well, and I was open to making a new friend, so...we started talking and became instant friends. At one point he told me something that a friend of his had said, "good people know good people". So true. We met again at Pagan Pride Day right around the time of Mabon this September and spent some time together chatting. So, it was nice to finally get to see him again.

So, like I was saying, Pine and I met Pet at a pool hall (where we did actually play a game and have some drinks) in preparation for going to an event which Pet had suggested, Journey to Bethlehem. This is something that he apparently used to go to years ago when some of his family members attended the same church. He wanted to go experience it again with friends he knew would understand the silliness of it all (he said to us at one point during our "journey" that he could "smell the hypocrisy", hehe). Wow. It was quite an odd experience. I think now I have had enough "church" to last me for quite a while. So after "walking to Bethlehem" outside in the very cold weather and being slightly disturbed, we headed back to reality. Pet suggested hitting up the casino just for fun. I wasn't ready to go home yet, and really, what would be a better way to end such an odd Friday night? So, away we went. We didn't actually go inside the casino itself, but we wandered all about and people watched. They all looked kinda sad, or drunk, or both. It wasn't overly exciting, but as I told Pine, it was a good way to balance out the church craziness. It was just great getting to see Pet again! I'd love to spend more time with both Pet and Pine, we seem to make a great trio.

So, that was my week in St. Louis. It was great getting away from my house for a while. I was actually able to sleep rather well at Pine's house. It's so much quieter there than here, without all those crazy dogs running about. I swear this house is like a circus....

Fun in St. Louis

Last week I headed to St. Louis for several days for a much needed break from the monotony and frustration of the mundane world. Most of the week I spent with Pine at his cute, cozy house in the 'burbs, just relaxing and enjoying getting to know him more. It is much quieter at his house than mine, so I had lots of good, uninterrupted sleep and I slept in quite late most mornings, which was rather unintentional, but nice for a change. We geeked out a lot with jigsaw puzzles, video games, looking stuff up on Wikipedia and playing with legos. There were plenty of other kinds of fun as well, but I will spare you all the details...

One afternoon Pine and I went to Laumeier Sculpture Park, which was lots of fun. We just wandered all about and climbed on things we weren't supposed to climb on. I'm actually in one of the sculptures at the park in this photo. It was a nice, warm afternoon and I had fun wandering about and playing in the woods with Pine. We were a little spontaneous after the park and decided to head down to the loop to meet up with Willow, whom I just had to see while I was in town! On the way, Pine showed me one of his favorite spots on the WashU campus, "the tree". It was a nice little spot to relax for a bit. So, I met up with Willow and we ate at the awesome falafel place that we both love and had some girl time to catch up before Pine came back (he went home to collect his fire gear). It was great! The food was good too, mmmtabbouleh.... Then Pine and Willow were introduced, and it went well. I think she already has a higher opinion of Pine than she does of Owl. That's not very shocking really.

Then it was fire time! We met up with one of Pine's friends and they played with their fire toys while Willow and I watched and giggled. It was so awesome! I had of course seen Pine eat fire before, but this was the first time I had seen him spin poi. I was quite impressed, and even more turned on ;-) There are some photos on my flickr, although they definitely don't convey the excitement of watching fire spinning in person, but...they'll do. Both Pine and his friend were fun to watch, they performed some pretty neat tricks. It was just a nice evening getting to spend some time with Willow and being so graciously entertained by Pine and his cool friend. I was quite happy that Willow and Pine got along so well. It seems she thinks he is a good pick, yay!

The next evening, Friday, Pine and I stayed in and had fun together. We rolled for a little while, and it was definitely an experience. I didn't feel the physical sensations as strongly as I expected, but I definitely opened up more emotionally. We spent a lot of time talking and being totally honest. It was as if the barriers I have put up were temporarily broken down. I got a little emotional about Owl and clued Pine in on some of what I have been feeling, things I had been keeping quiet about. I think he was surprised at a sudden, unexpected outpouring of emotion. I don't know if I was ready or not to tell him those things, but...I don't feel regret. In that moment I felt very safe, and comfortable with Pine. It was reassuring that he was very much in that moment with me and was able to share with me as well. I think we've had similar experiences with love, and for some reason that made me feel glad. He has never made me feel bad for still loving someone else, nor has he ever made me feel pressured to do or say or be anything. Also, there is nothing expected, and that is a good feeling. So far we have just been in the moment, and that is working rather well. So, back to Friday night...mostly we just sat on the couch in candlelight listening to chill music and enjoying each other. We talked a lot, about a lot of things I don't remember, and of course touched a lot. We had picked up some strawberries earlier in the evening and they were a very good investment. I've never had more fun being fed strawberries, or feeding strawberries to someone else. Mmm! :-D

It was a GREAT week, I so needed to get away from my little world here, as it can really bring me down sometimes. It wasn't too hard coming back, but our little fake world really is mundane.