I have never known winter to be so beautiful! I have fallen in love with Montana all over again. Although now it is because of the pure, white snow blanketing the ground and the trees, the amazingly clear night skies (the coldest nights) which provide a wonderful view of the Milky Way and the deep, deep quiet of the forest in winter. I was worried before I arrived for the season that I might not be able to handle Montana winters, but so far I am doing quite well and am adjusting much more easily than I thought I would. I am enjoying this winter more than any I have experienced in Missouri. I am happy here, even when my fingers are cold ;-)
Things are still relatively quiet around here at the BFC. No bison out of the park still, which is highly unusual for this time of year. So we are still trying to keep ourselves busy with what needs doing around the property. I have been cooking for about six weeks now, and while I have enjoyed cooking for community again, I am more than ready for a break. It is hard work. While another person here might wake up and feel like they just want to take the day off and hide away, I can't do that. Everyone would wonder why I hadn't made them breakfast, lunch or dinner, ha. I have learned more about cooking and that is a very good thing. I have cooked plenty of meat (all wild game, provided by several of the volunteers who hunt) and have only experienced success. While it is a little odd to cook meat for a crowd of omnivores, myself being a veggie, it is good to know I have greatly expanded my cooking repertoire. I have received many kind compliments (hopefully sincere ;-) on my cooking, and that feels good. For now, I have two more days to finish off cooking for the month, then I will only be filling in here and there to provide days off for whomever else is cooking. As of right now I'll be cooking for another month in the spring, assuming my plans don't change.
Yampah and I are spending more and more time together and I am very pleased that we are growing so close. He is a wonderful man and I am incredibly happy to know him. For the first time in a long time I actually have the desire to establish and maintain a real romantic relationship. I no longer ignore that sometimes frightening F word: future. It feels a little odd, since I have been so determindly single since my last serious relationship (the quite disastrous affair with Owl). It feels good though, and I look forward to what the future has to offer us. He has been gone for the last week, visiting family back east for the holidays. I have missed him! He will be returning today and I am very excited to see him :-D
So, all in all, things are good here, despite some ongoing frustrations with community (or rather those few individuals who make living in community difficult). I am happy and I forsee staying in Montana for a long time.
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Faun Weekend
This past weekend dear Faun came down for our last chance to see each other before I run away to the wilds of Montana again. We escaped suburbia hell (a.k.a. my hometown) and went to Eureka Springs where we stayed in a cute bed and breakfast, which was cozy and luxurious (mmmjacuzzi). We had a wonderful time! On Saturday we went to Lost Valley State Park (near Ponca, AR) to go hiking and enjoy the autumn woods. It was quite busy when we got there, but we decided to try it out anyway and just ignore the other humans. Not too far down the trail we ended up wandering out into the woods to go exploring away from all the people (the best kind of hiking). What a good decision that was! We scrambled over rocks up a creekbed and found a few really cool little waterfalls and bluffs. We played and explored and giggled and didn't worry about a thing. It was a beautiful day, the forest was lovely and we were having so much fun I didn't want to leave. Eventually we headed back, made our way to our room and took a nap before going out for the night. I think the hike wore us out too much though (or something ;-), as we weren't good for much more than dinner and a few beers. It was enjoyable nonetheless, to observe the nightlife.
On Sunday we slept in and lazed about before going out to wander the town. I tried to enjoy Faun as much as possible, as I knew it was the last day I would see him for several months at least. By the time we made it back to my abode, I didn't want to let go. I had enjoyed getting to spend so much time with just Faun without any distractions. The whole time we've known each other we haven't had the opportunity of spending a lot of time together, at least not in the default world. So, it was wonderful being able to just enjoy being together. It was wonderful to know as I was falling asleep that he was still going to be there in the morning. It was wonderful not having to watch the clock or even think about the clock. Having the luxury of an entire weekend with Faun without having to worry about anything or anyone else made it that much harder to say goodbye. Le sigh. I am very excited to get back to Montana, but now there is one more thing I will miss about Missouri...
On Sunday we slept in and lazed about before going out to wander the town. I tried to enjoy Faun as much as possible, as I knew it was the last day I would see him for several months at least. By the time we made it back to my abode, I didn't want to let go. I had enjoyed getting to spend so much time with just Faun without any distractions. The whole time we've known each other we haven't had the opportunity of spending a lot of time together, at least not in the default world. So, it was wonderful being able to just enjoy being together. It was wonderful to know as I was falling asleep that he was still going to be there in the morning. It was wonderful not having to watch the clock or even think about the clock. Having the luxury of an entire weekend with Faun without having to worry about anything or anyone else made it that much harder to say goodbye. Le sigh. I am very excited to get back to Montana, but now there is one more thing I will miss about Missouri...
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Burning Man 2008
WOW. I don't even know what to write. It's hard to know where to start. The experience of having been to Burning Man is hard to describe because it's so unique that there really isn't anything else to compare it to. It really is one of those things that you just have to experience yourself to really know what it's like. To go is to know.
When Pet and I finally became one with the long line to get in the gate on Monday after our cross country trip, it was hard to believe we were actually there. We had been talking about it so much for so long that I had started to lose interest. To be honest, I almost didn't even want to leave Montana to go. Of course part of that was pure and simple laziness speaking, not wanting to bother packing. But, when Pet showed up in Denver to pick me up it started to dawn on me that we were actually going. As we counted down the miles and whole states passed by the excitement started to build. The closer we got the more folks we saw on the road who were obviously heading to the same place (burners are hard to miss). We randomly started chatting with burners at rest stops and gas stations all along the interstate. By Monday morning when we drove through the tiny town of Gerlach, Nevada and saw the hordes of burners stopped for their last chance at supplies the excitement we felt was nearly tangible. We were almost there!!!
Arriving at our final destination: Pandora's Lounge and Fix-it Shoppe (our camp, and home for the week) , I felt elated, relieved, excited, anxious and ready to get out of the car! Of course we rolled in right in time for a big ass dust storm (and I started asking myself why the hell I decided to spend a week in such an inhospitable environment, ha). So instead of setting up our tents, which would have been futile in the wind, we greeted our campmates, pulled out our bikes and headed out to explore the crazy city we now call home. It was like wandering about another planet, all hot, windy and dusty as fuck running into all sorts of people looking like aliens in their goggles and masks/scarves/whathaveyou. But tons of fun! I felt in a daze the whole day, not really knowing if I was seeing things correctly, not really completely believing I was there. Even going straight to the top of the man didn't hit the nail home. I think it finally settled into my brain that I was at Burning Man sometime later that night. Actually, I think I remember the exact moment...we'd gone out into the night with a group of our campmates (all of them still mostly unknown to me at this point) to wander the city and see what we could find. We stopped at Mal-Mart to play with their toys, dance to the awesome 80's music they were spinning and climb to the top of their main structure to get a view of the young city at night. As I stood there and watched the loong line of headlights stretching from the gate to the highway, my brain said to me, "Holy shit! You're at Burning Man! And you've got all week!"
In Black Rock City, there is definitely never a lack of interesting things to see and do, at any time of day or night. All one has to do is start wandering. This was essentially my week. Mostly I spent my days wandering about with no destination in mind, stopping at random whenever something caught my interest (this happened often) and admiring the glories of 50,000 people coming together to create a temporary city based on the ten principles (all while getting a hawt tan I may add). My time spent at camp was split between getting to know my campmates, trying my hardest to nap (impossible) and people watching. Our camp was placed on a high traffic street quite close to Center Camp so we never had a lack of visitors or excitement (not to mention all the folks who stopped by our bike shop).
Most nights I would get a good start at our camp's bar (oh the Pandorans are a bad influence ;-) before heading out with other adventurous souls to see what the night had to offer. After being out in the sun all day long, going out every night was probably bad policy for me (being one to actually need sleep) but the city at night was hard to resist. I was like a moth to a flame. But who can blame me when the night has so much to offer? Heart-pounding bass to follow when wild dancing is desired, dancing til you must collapse, numorous theme camps with soft, cushy surfaces on which to collapse, toys to play with, art to admire, bars to visit, fire to watch, hoops to play with!, stars to be wowed by, the unknown possibilities awaiting you, unidentifiable big glowy things off in the distance, unidentifiable big and small glowy things everywhere, and undeniably desirable above all else: the all important, life-giving and life-sustaining blinkie lights of the open playa at night. Oh night in Black Rock City is fun indeed!! Anytime I ventured out I felt like I was being pulled in twenty different directions because I wanted to see and do all (quite impossible in a city that size ;-)
Although what I remember most fondly is hanging out with good friends old and new, wandering all about the city, being silly and having fun without a care in the world. I was nervous at first since we were camping with a group of people I didn't know very well, but it didn't take me too long to warm up. I ended up being quite happy that we camped with them. Over the week I made a lot of new friends, and at least one very good friend, and for that in itself I am exceedingly happy I went. Wonderful Faun is already near and dear to my heart, despite me having only known him a couple of months. Mayhaps that is the magic of Burning Man at work ;-)
I decided to not go into a whole lot of detail regarding exactly what I did at Burning Man, as I've already done that in my personal journal and it would feel too much like overkill to me. But overall I had an amazing time and I am so so so glad I made the choice waaay back in January to go, even though I had only the vaguest idea what I was getting into. It was immensely fun and I'm already thinking of going again next year. Sigh. I think maybe that I've become a burner ;-)
When Pet and I finally became one with the long line to get in the gate on Monday after our cross country trip, it was hard to believe we were actually there. We had been talking about it so much for so long that I had started to lose interest. To be honest, I almost didn't even want to leave Montana to go. Of course part of that was pure and simple laziness speaking, not wanting to bother packing. But, when Pet showed up in Denver to pick me up it started to dawn on me that we were actually going. As we counted down the miles and whole states passed by the excitement started to build. The closer we got the more folks we saw on the road who were obviously heading to the same place (burners are hard to miss). We randomly started chatting with burners at rest stops and gas stations all along the interstate. By Monday morning when we drove through the tiny town of Gerlach, Nevada and saw the hordes of burners stopped for their last chance at supplies the excitement we felt was nearly tangible. We were almost there!!!
Arriving at our final destination: Pandora's Lounge and Fix-it Shoppe (our camp, and home for the week) , I felt elated, relieved, excited, anxious and ready to get out of the car! Of course we rolled in right in time for a big ass dust storm (and I started asking myself why the hell I decided to spend a week in such an inhospitable environment, ha). So instead of setting up our tents, which would have been futile in the wind, we greeted our campmates, pulled out our bikes and headed out to explore the crazy city we now call home. It was like wandering about another planet, all hot, windy and dusty as fuck running into all sorts of people looking like aliens in their goggles and masks/scarves/whathaveyou. But tons of fun! I felt in a daze the whole day, not really knowing if I was seeing things correctly, not really completely believing I was there. Even going straight to the top of the man didn't hit the nail home. I think it finally settled into my brain that I was at Burning Man sometime later that night. Actually, I think I remember the exact moment...we'd gone out into the night with a group of our campmates (all of them still mostly unknown to me at this point) to wander the city and see what we could find. We stopped at Mal-Mart to play with their toys, dance to the awesome 80's music they were spinning and climb to the top of their main structure to get a view of the young city at night. As I stood there and watched the loong line of headlights stretching from the gate to the highway, my brain said to me, "Holy shit! You're at Burning Man! And you've got all week!"
In Black Rock City, there is definitely never a lack of interesting things to see and do, at any time of day or night. All one has to do is start wandering. This was essentially my week. Mostly I spent my days wandering about with no destination in mind, stopping at random whenever something caught my interest (this happened often) and admiring the glories of 50,000 people coming together to create a temporary city based on the ten principles (all while getting a hawt tan I may add). My time spent at camp was split between getting to know my campmates, trying my hardest to nap (impossible) and people watching. Our camp was placed on a high traffic street quite close to Center Camp so we never had a lack of visitors or excitement (not to mention all the folks who stopped by our bike shop).
Most nights I would get a good start at our camp's bar (oh the Pandorans are a bad influence ;-) before heading out with other adventurous souls to see what the night had to offer. After being out in the sun all day long, going out every night was probably bad policy for me (being one to actually need sleep) but the city at night was hard to resist. I was like a moth to a flame. But who can blame me when the night has so much to offer? Heart-pounding bass to follow when wild dancing is desired, dancing til you must collapse, numorous theme camps with soft, cushy surfaces on which to collapse, toys to play with, art to admire, bars to visit, fire to watch, hoops to play with!, stars to be wowed by, the unknown possibilities awaiting you, unidentifiable big glowy things off in the distance, unidentifiable big and small glowy things everywhere, and undeniably desirable above all else: the all important, life-giving and life-sustaining blinkie lights of the open playa at night. Oh night in Black Rock City is fun indeed!! Anytime I ventured out I felt like I was being pulled in twenty different directions because I wanted to see and do all (quite impossible in a city that size ;-)
Although what I remember most fondly is hanging out with good friends old and new, wandering all about the city, being silly and having fun without a care in the world. I was nervous at first since we were camping with a group of people I didn't know very well, but it didn't take me too long to warm up. I ended up being quite happy that we camped with them. Over the week I made a lot of new friends, and at least one very good friend, and for that in itself I am exceedingly happy I went. Wonderful Faun is already near and dear to my heart, despite me having only known him a couple of months. Mayhaps that is the magic of Burning Man at work ;-)
I decided to not go into a whole lot of detail regarding exactly what I did at Burning Man, as I've already done that in my personal journal and it would feel too much like overkill to me. But overall I had an amazing time and I am so so so glad I made the choice waaay back in January to go, even though I had only the vaguest idea what I was getting into. It was immensely fun and I'm already thinking of going again next year. Sigh. I think maybe that I've become a burner ;-)
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Happy March!
I feel it's safe to say that it finally feels like spring will be here soon. The weather was amazingly beautiful last weekend. I had been feeling so shitty. Sunday was so warm and sunny, all I really wanted to do was sit outside and soak up as much sunshine as I could, all that glorious warmth, light and energy I had been missing out on all winter. I felt so happy just being a sponge. Ahhh....and little green things are beginning to sprout up out of the ground! How wonderful! How awesome! How so delightfully glorious! We still have some cold weather ahead of us, but hope has arrived at last ;-)
It's getting down to the wire here. I'll be leaving in a month and a half (ok, so not really that far down to the wire yet, but hey...it's closer than a month ago!) Leaving also means I'll be quitting my jobs and moving out, so no more income and no more permanent home! I'm starting to sketch out a basic budget for my summer and I've realized I'm really going to have to clamp down on my spending, I'll need every penny if I'm going to do all the things I want to do! That's alright, I'm really good at saving money. I can do it! And I'll be livin' cheap this summer! I'm talking about camping and crashing on couches instead of paying rent kinda cheap. I'm so excited! Hopefully soon I'll find a decent bike for free or cheap so I can drive less too. As far as food goes, I'm not opposed to dumpster diving, I may have to give it a try. The farmers' market will be up and running too, maybe I can find a farmer who will give me tasty produce in exchange for some work. Hrm....lots of ideas! More ideas are of course very welcome if any of you wonderful people have any. Ehh??
It's getting down to the wire here. I'll be leaving in a month and a half (ok, so not really that far down to the wire yet, but hey...it's closer than a month ago!) Leaving also means I'll be quitting my jobs and moving out, so no more income and no more permanent home! I'm starting to sketch out a basic budget for my summer and I've realized I'm really going to have to clamp down on my spending, I'll need every penny if I'm going to do all the things I want to do! That's alright, I'm really good at saving money. I can do it! And I'll be livin' cheap this summer! I'm talking about camping and crashing on couches instead of paying rent kinda cheap. I'm so excited! Hopefully soon I'll find a decent bike for free or cheap so I can drive less too. As far as food goes, I'm not opposed to dumpster diving, I may have to give it a try. The farmers' market will be up and running too, maybe I can find a farmer who will give me tasty produce in exchange for some work. Hrm....lots of ideas! More ideas are of course very welcome if any of you wonderful people have any. Ehh??
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